Killer Crabs
Guy N. Smith
Signet Books, 1979
ISBN: 451-E8954
In the pantheon (did I just say “pantheon” in an article about Guy N. Smith? Jeez) of British paperback horror writers Guy N. Smith is one of the top names. His books are slices of 70s/80s pure ridiculousness, with covers featuring deformed ghouls, slime monsters, and killer crabs with knives. To a lot of British horror fans of a certain age I think he was a foundational element in the horror fandom with his thin, sex and gore filled paperbacks that were probably passed around between friends and read without your parents knowing. I wish the fourteen-year-old me had been able to read them. They are just slightly naughty solid horror gold.
Guy N. Smith came from a stogy family with a bank manager father and historical novelist mother, but what he really liked doing was hunting and spending time outdoors. His first published works were articles in sportsman magazines, which got him into the writing swing of things. Eventually this led him into writing paperback originals. Starting with Werewolf by Moonlight in 1974 for New English Library. That same year James Herbert wrote The Rats and everyone went “animals on a rampage crazy.”
Night of the Crabs came in 1976 and really launched Guy. The first tale of his signature creation, giant crabs that really like to eat and maim people. It was a hit and for the rest of his life Guy wrote about crabs. Good work if you can get it. Besides crabs he wrote about bad bats, locusts, caracals, snakes, alligators, you name it. Also more traditional horror stuff with witches, ghouls, werewolves and the like. He put out a lot of books, so he had to diversify.
Killer Crabs is the second entry in the series, it moves the action from England to Australia and reintroduces our hero from the first book, Clive Davenport, that scourge of the crabs and kinda boring British man. Mix in a tough fisherman, a bunch of money at stake and a woman who likes a lot of sex, then mix in giant crabs then you swish them all up and hit repeat. The book rocks back and forth from tense crab moments, hero stuff, sex, crab murders, sex, crab destruction, stiff-upper-lip hero stuff and then finally a big showdown. Unlike a lot of people cashing in on the horror paperback boom, Guy just delivers. He packs the books full of wonderful gore and nice set-pieces, only interspersing them with, uh, the romantic moments and keeps the pace breakneck. The characters are sorta BEYOND caricatures. They have no deep needs or thoughts. They need sex or to kill crabs. Sometimes both. They talk like actors in B-Monster-Movies from the 50s. It’s a delight.
With this just being the second book the formula is still pretty fresh and Guy was clearly having fun with it in a quick, almost stream of consciousness way of writing. He’s a very simple writer, easy to read sentences and shorter chapters, there's no illusion of grandeur in him or his work. He’s simply trying to give someone who wants to read a book about a giant crab everything they might want in such a book. He succeeds completely. Some of the later ones get a little odd/long in the tooth. Some play as prequels, one almost gets Lovecraftian with crab-worshiping cults. But there’s always plenty of crabs to enjoy, it almost makes you hungry for seafood.
All that to say, you might not like it. A lot of people find Guy’s work stilted, awkward, misogynistic, shotty and purely hack-work. And...yeah it’s all those things too. It might take a book or two to get your brain on the right wavelength to enjoy one of Guy’s books. But once you're there it's a welcome, kooky world to dive into. Just watch out for the crabs.
Guy N. Smith was also a champion pipe-smoker and was very active with his fans, publishing his own fanzine where he interacted with his followers (he would even have them over to his house for conventions) and published new material after the publishing world moved away from paperback horror novels. He was also a true pulp-writer writing novelizations for Disney films, trucker novels, non-fiction about the outdoors, porn novels, and anything else that would sell. The Crab series would total up to twelve books, including chapbooks and a graphic novel and it’s a true testament to the power of Guy’s work. Twelve books about crabs killing people! Do we, as a people, deserve such wonder?
The Crab series is sadly out of print after and the originals are very much a “collectors item,” and pretty expensive unfortunately. In ‘ol U.S. a lot of his work wasn’t published. So, you’ll have to track them down from England. Killer Crabs is a remarkably solid pulp-horror novel, it might be the best of the crab books. You can find yourself done with it before you know. I picked up to read the first chapter in between another book and read it in a pleasant afternoon filled with crab murders.
Roy Nugen is an award-winning writer, producer, property master, plus actor. He comes from a family of musicians, engineers, wildcatters, cops, lion tamers, and carpet salesmen. Evil Dead II changed his life and he once partied with Lloyd Kaufman.
He has written 15 short films including Bag Full of Trouble, Potboiler, Handle With Care, Death in Lavender, Hole in the Ground, and the feature film Arrive Alive, many of which have played across the country. He has been the property master on 17 short films and 2 feature films.
Roy is also a prolific book reviewer and collector of vintage pulp paperback books. You can read his reviews on his blog Bloody, Spicy Books and multiple magazines including Paperback Fanatic, Hot Lead and Sleazy Reader. He has also written afterwards for novels and for various websites. He lives in the only city that once arrested L. Ron Hubbard with his wife and cats.